These scales before my eyes
keep me blinded to the sun.
In a metallic, blackened justice
I dwell, weighing your heart
against this feather, my master, you’re heavier.
On that grassy knoll, I fell
asleep – The Book of Chuang Tzu
open at my childish feet, Public Enemy
#1 clanging chords through my veins, criss-
crossing my wrists: Extermination Day.
This mantis preys upon me:
a sacrifice to the Goddess of Light.
It is my own desire to be
devoured, in prayer, like an eternal lover,
like this book I always wished
to discover open inside my soul.
Could you read it to me aloud, this time, again?
Like you always did throughout my childhood,
holding my open palm between your trembling fingers
in the backseat of my father’s Buick,
like you did for all the other men?
Like when you saw the Lord gaze at you
from His lonely eyes hidden within that fallen tree…
The same Lord my grandfather met
when he decided to be reborn to this life.
In the reign of the Antichrist, on this hellish plane,
he waited only for me. For three times four
long years, he waited only for me.
In a hospital bed, to be sacrificed,
a halo around his balding head, in a robe
of white, upon the burning coals of this
downward slope – only to be born again,
here, with me, his nemesis, his twin.
For more of Israfel Sivad’s poems, please go to: amazon.com/author/israfel-sivad